Jenis-jenis Kapel

Assalamualaikumwarahmatullahiwabarakatuh...

Pada entri kali nie aku nak ceritakan sedikit mengenai beberapa jenis kapel yang wujud di muka bumi Malaysia ini. Zaman sekarang kan tengah hangat pasal kapel2 nie..trend la katakan... Kebanyakkan diorg nie kita boleh nampak di shopping complex, taman2, kebun bunga, warung2, kedai buah dan yg sewaktu dengannya...Jadi mana2 yg terasa sambal tu cepat2 la minum air...

 

 Gambar kartun je...

• Awek cun bergandingan dengan pakwe yang tak hensem

Kalau korang perhatikan golongan yang nie adalah yang paling banyak dijumpai.  Awek punyalah cun mengalahkan model tapi sangkut dekat pakwe yang mukanya iras2 dengan penjenayah pecah rumah. Aku tak tau la kalau dah selera awek tu mmg nak dgn penjenayah kan...tp kalau diperhatikan muka balak tu ada sedikit takabbur. Yela dapat awek mantap sapa tak bangga beb...Lepas tu siap pakai spek Rayban lg semata2 nak menambahkan kemachoan yg tak semenggah.

Kadang2 tu kalau si balak nie wat lawak jarang awek tu nak gelak..Paling kuat pun dia akan senyum je (amek hati punya pasal)..Kebiasaannya pakwe2 jenis nie dikatakan mempunyai dompet yg tebal..Kira terjamin la diorg nie...Setakat muka je hensem tapi sen pun takde takkan nak duduk kat taman je ye tak...

• Awek tak cun bergandingan dengan pakwe hensem

Jenis yg nie pun memang ramai gak.. Kalau diperhatikan si awek nie mempunyai perasaan cemburu yang melampau-lampau.. Time keluar berdua pulak awek nie akan memegang erat2 tangan balak dia sehinggakan boleh terputus urat sendi.. Lepas tu pantang nampak awek cun jeling kat pakwe dia mula la dia jeling balik sampai nak terkeluar biji mata.. Even makcik pun dia nak jeles..Takut betul pakwe dia kena rampas...

Kebiasaannya pakwe2 nie akan berasa segan dgn perangai awek diorg. Orang ramai dan termasuk aku jugak akan mengatakan bahawa sah si balak tu dah kena 'manderem'...Atapun pakwe tu jenis buta seni.. Boleh jadi jugak si awek tu jenis banyak duit dan support segala perbelanjaan pakwe diorg...tinggal goyang kaki je la...

Nie kapal bukan kapel Is oi...

• Awek cun bergandingan pakwe hensem

Jenis sebegini memang takde bawak masalah pun pd masyarakat sekeliling.. Malah lebih disenangi orang ramai...Sama cantik sama padan... Diibaratkan macam aku dengan Nora Danish la lebih kurang...hahaha

• Awek tak cun bergandingan pulak dengan pakwe tak hensem

Jenis yg nie aku rasa takde orang heran pun....

• Pasangan lesbian

Haram....Kebiasaannya akan ada seorang yang bertindak sbg lelaki (pengkid) yg mana dia akan menjaga yg seorang lagi.. Nak jadi hero la tu... Tapi kalau korang perasan kebanyakan awek2 nie semua comel2 belaka...Siyes beb gua tak tipu...Dan kebanyakkan diorg bila aku tanya kenapa beralih arah mesti jawapan yg aku dengar sama je. Alasan sbb dah serik ditipu lelaki..(klasik)

Kalau nak detect diorg nie agak payah sikit.. Yela kita tengok je rapat semacam padahal sahabat sejati (ye la tu)... Tp ad org cakap selalunya diorg pakai cincin kat ibu jari...Tak tau la jari tangan ke kaki..haha

• Pasangan gay

Haram jugak....Golongan yg nie memang aku anti.. Aku gelarkan sbg golongan x berketurunan... Korg tak geli ke men lawan2 pedang...Nak detect diorg nie senang je.. Agk2 kalau nampak lelaki jalan berdua2an sambil berpegangan tangan memang betul la tu...

• Awek melayu berpasangan dengan foreigner

Kalau dalam bahasa melayu aku istilahkan sbg warga asing.. Apa dah takde lg ke lelaki melayu dalam malaysia nie..Kalau dapat yg dari jenis mat2 saleh takpe gak..Sekurang2nya dapat gak bawak masuk islam.. Nie tak..yg takde permit tu jgak yg di kejarnya... Lepas tu dah kena bawak lari baru terhegeh2 nak suruh bawak balik...

• Awek melayu berpasangan dengan Awang Hitam

Jenis yg nie pun aku berbulu gak tengok.. Rasa aku dah pupus agaknya lelaki2 melayu sampai kayu arang dipilihnya...Kan melambak lg jejaka2 tanahair yg boleh dibuat pilihan (macam aku).. takkan la org minyak tu jgak yg nak dikejar...Alasannya diorg romantik...Silap2 jadi keldai dadah takpun hamba seks...

• Pasangan yang diredhai

Dan tak lain tak bukan adalah pasangan suami isteri...Rasa aku takde sapa nak marah kalau keluar berpegang tangan..Sikit pun tak berdosa..Tp selalunya diorg nie malu nak wat sbb malu tengok perangai tak senonoh pasangan2 di atas...

Boleh pegang-pegang

Sebenarnya banyak lagi jenis2 kapel tp aku rasa kalau citer semua mau jadi 1 kitab...Mungkin ad yg betul dan ada yg salah...tp nie berdasarkan pemerhatian aku...Zaman sekarang nie gaya kapel dah macam laki bini.. Kalau ada apa2 yg nak dibangkang xde masalah...

p/s: Gua tak main la kapel2 nie...jumpa je kahwin terus..haha

Realiti atau Fantasi

Assalamualaikumwarahmatullahiwabarakatuh...

Sekian lama menyepi tiba-tiba muncul kembali. Umpama sebiji roti yang timbul di dalam secawan kopi. Adakah ini sebuah ilusi ataupun disebabkan oleh kebosanan yang tidak terperi. Mungkin ini hanyalah realiti ataupun fantasi...

Okeh..sudah2lah aku mengarut nie. Blog nie pd dasarnya hanyalah suatu tugasan yg telah diberikan oleh lect aku untuk subjek english. 20% maa..ingat sikit ke markah dia. Jd pd post2 yg terdahulu tu korang boleh la baca kalau rajin. Walaupun ayat2 dia mcm power je tp sbnarnya kopipes je pun...mcm x biasa plak. 

Xde kaitan pun sebenarnya...

Disebabkan oleh aku nie ada sedikit anti dengan bahasa inggeris nie..jd aku akan memaksimumkan penggunaan bahasa melayu pd entri2 yg akan datang. Yela..belaja dari kecik sampai ke beso tapi still bongok gak. Setakat nak lepaskan awek omputih sesat boleh la. Tp nak wat macam mana dah hari2 makan sambal belacan. But don't worry..although i hate english doesn't mean i can't speak.

Aku rasa setakat nie pengenalan mengenai blog aku yg x seberapa. Jd nantikan post2 yg akan datang. Chow..

p/s: Go straight..don't belok-belok....

To Cheat or Not to be Cheat

Assalamualaikumwarahmatullahiwabarakatuh....

At last, our misery and terrible time had finally come to the end. It's a bird. It's a plane. No. It's the last title of the blog has arrived without any sign. The title for this week is 'To Cheat or Not To Cheat'. For this entry we as 'Lord of Cheater' will teach you all about cheating method that we have experienced and learned. Don't feel shy to cheat because we are human after all. So, let's cheat....


1. "Flying V" Formation

During exams sit in a "Flying V" formation, where the person to be cheated from sits at the head of the V and the cheaters fan out behind in diagonals. In this formation, the head must really expert in the subject. If the method work perfectly, all the student in the formation can get the answer.

2. Long Sleeved Method

Before exams started, write the important information on your arms. Then put on long-sleeved shirts to cover the arms. If get any chances, roll up your sleeve to get the answer.

3. Note on Desk

This method is popular in math and science exams. Just before the exam started, write the necessary formulas—as many as possible—on the desk. If the teacher comes by during the exam, just push the answer sheets or paper over all of the formulas that are on the desk. This approach is very simple but easy to get cought.

4. Body Parts Cheat

Get a pen (red works best as it blends best with skin tone) and write little notes on any area of skin on your body. The ankles are good if you wear jeans and can cross your legs. The wrists are good if you can write on your veins with blue pen. On the inside of your thighs you can write formulas if you wear shorts. One of the best places to put notes are on your hands.

5. Mechanical pencil method

Use with a Bic or any other clear mechanical pencil. Write notes in a line on a piece of durable paper. Take a strip of tape, place it over the line of notes, press down over the writing, lift tape off the paper(the lead comes off with the tape). Now simply place the tape on the pencil and you have notes only readable by you! (to read, turn the pencil and the way the light shines through the pencil reveals the writing.

6. Ideogram Method

Know that ideograms are symbols used to represent words. Doodle something to represent a word for a test and nobody would think twice about it. Example The name Friedrich Nietzsche would translate into: A doodle of Fred Flintstone (fred); A bag of money(rich); a ball of yarn with needle(knit as in Niet); a yin-yang chi symbol (chi). Those symbols would translate to (fred)(rich)(knit)(chi), saying the words out loud easily reveals the name.

7. I.D. Badge Cheat

The day before the test, write tiny notes on the sheets of paper, that you will need for the test. If you don't have a cover on badge, tape it on the back. (But don't make it obvious!) The day of the test, have your I.D. Badge hanging around your neck, that way the badge will automatically fall into your lap. Make sure not to keep flipping the badge over to the side where the notes are, or the teacher will catch on. After the test, discard the notes.

8. Buddy System / Pair System

This is an old method that is still popular among students and work with pair of students. One of the students need to sit next to another friend who knows tons of things during the exams. After the clever one finishes doing the exam, he/she will give the answer to the partner.

Be careful and always be aware of where the teacher is looking; no method of cheating is successful if the teacher is looking right at you while you hold the notes in your hand and are frantically copying them onto the test. Also, be aware of what your colleagues are doing, as they would love to notify your professor or your dean of your actions. If it should ever come to that, and you know no one has no proof whatsoever that you cheated: deny, deny, deny! Convince yourself as well as your adversaries you did not cheat, remaining firm and confident. As long as they can not prove it but can only wonder or hear someone else words against your own, you're in the clear. Don't get caught often though, or the authorities will get suspicious. The best policy is not to cheat.

Tips:

Don’t be nervous. Be confident. Have faith in your methods, know that you won’t get caught. If that’s the way you’re thinking about things, then you won’t get caught. Simple as that.

Don’t look around too much! Only look around when you really need to see if a teacher is near. If a teacher sees you looking around alot, that can make them suspicious of you.

When a teacher walks past, act calm. Pretend that you don’t care, and don’t look at them! - The look on your face can tell them alot of things. Just sit and look at your exam paper as if you’re thinking and pretend to write things down, then scribble it out after they walk past.

Cheating is likely to result in your losing out on learning the things you will need to know later in life (except if your country's school really fills your mind with unneeded knowledge), so instead of cheating, studying your exam material is always preferable.

If you are smart, you will not need cheating because by writing the answers/formulas/etc, chances are you will remember it.

It's always good to study, but use the cheat notes as a backup. This way you will minimize the chances of getting caught because you won't need the notes that much. If you studied but don't know an answer to a question, you can always rely on the notes.

Every time you plan to cheat, use a different method. This will make you less likely to get caught. Maybe the first time you want to use the pencil method and then the second, maybe you should use the rubber band method, but that's up to you.

You might want to take a look at the discuss tab to see what methods have worked best for people. Reviews.

You will be less suspected of cheating if the teacher likes you because you are quiet in class, do all of your homework, you're treat others very well, etc. Even if the teacher sees you flash out a paper once for whatever reason, they will be more likely to think something along the lines of Nah, this student is an angel. I don't think he/she is cheating. Its not in his/her nature. Just try not to do it the next time.

All in all, just be NORMAL. Be yourself.